Abstract
A romantic trajectory that has received little attention in the literature is “situationships,” which is a colloquial term used in some Western cultures to describe a complex relationship situation. According to Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love, experiences of companionate and/or consummate love are often preceded by romantic love. However, situationships may be experiences of romantic love, without increases in commitment. The goal of this study is to describe situationships using a mixed-methods, exploratory approach. The first phase of this study involved 28 participants in one-on-one, semi-structured Zoom interviews regarding their entire relationship history, and then identifying if any of these experiences were situationships. For the second phase, 261 participants completed an online survey regarding their three most recent relationship experiences. The goal of the first phase (qualitative analyses) was to define situationships and describe how these relationships were different from other relationships. The goal of the second phase (quantitative analyses) was to differentiate situationships from non-situationships using empirical data based on results from the first phase of the study. Using reflexive thematic analyses, situationships were defined as romantic relationships with no clarity or label, low levels of commitment, but similar romantic behaviors as established couples by means of affection and sexual behaviors and time spent together. Independent samples t-tests using Bonferroni corrections provided some support for the prescribed definition as there were significant differences regarding relationship quality and similarities regarding affectionate and sexual behaviors between situationships and non-situationships. These results reflect that people in a situationship are, for the most part, emotionally and sexually invested even if they are not in a fully committed relationship.
Similar content being viewed by others
References
Battle, M. (2023, March 18). Situationships Are the Future of Dating. That’s Not a Bad Thing. Time. https://time.com/6263743/situationships-dating-benefits/.
Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497–529. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.117.3.497.
Baxter, L. A., & Wilmot, W. (1985). Taboo topics in close relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 2, 253–269. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407585023002.
Bisson, M. A., & Levine, T. R. (2009). Negotiating a friends with benefits relationship. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 38(1), 66–73. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-007-9211-2.
Braithwaite, S., & Holt-Lunstad, J. (2017). Romantic relationships and mental health. Current Opinion in Psychology, 13, 120–125. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.001.
Braun, V., & Clarke, V. (2021). One size fits all? What counts as quality practice in (reflexive) thematic analysis? Qualitative Research in Psychology, 18(3), 328–352. https://doi.org/10.1080/14780887.2020.1769238.
Braun, V., & Clarke, V. (2022). Conceptual and design thinking for thematic analysis. Qualitative Psychology, 9(1), 3–26. https://doi.org/10.1037/qup0000196.
Bringle, R. G., Winnick, T., & Rydell, R. J. (2013). The prevalence and nature of unrequited love. SAGE Open, 3(2). https://doi.org/10.1177/2158244013492160.
Cohen, M. T. (2016). An exploratory study of individuals in non-traditional, alternative relationships: How open are we? Sexuality and Culture, 20, 295–315. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12119-015-9324-z.
Dailey, R., Pfiester, A., **, B., Beck, G., & Clark, G. (2009). On-again/off-again dating relationships: How are they different from other dating relationships? Personal Relationships, 16(1), 23–47. https://doi.org/10.1111/J.1475-6811.2009.01208.X.
Dailey, R., Brody, N., LeFebvre, L., & Crook, B. (2013). Charting changes in commitment: Trajectories of on-again/off-again relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 30(8), 1020–1044. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407513480284.
Dindia, K., & Timmerman, L. (2003). Accomplishing romantic relationships. In J. O. Green & B. R. Burleson (Eds.), Handbook of Communication and Social Interaction Skills (pp. 685–721).
Erikson, E. (1959). Identity and the life cycle. International Universities.
Furman, W., & Shaffer, L. (2011). Romantic partners, friends, friends with benefits, and casual acquaintances as sexual partners. Journal of Sex Research, 48(6), 554–564. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2010.535623.
Garcia, J. R., Reiber, C., Massey, S. G., & Merriwether, A. M. (2012). Sexual hookup culture: A review. Review of General Psychology, 16(2), 161–176. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0027911.
Graham, J. M., Diebels, K. J., & Barnow, Z. B. (2011). The reliability of relationship satisfaction: A reliability generalization meta-analysis. Journal of Family Psychology, 25(1), 39–48. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0022441.
Grello, C. M., & Harper, M. S. (2001). Couples’ Communication Scale Unpublished instrument. (Available from Deborah Welsh, Department of Psychology, University of Tennessee, Knoxville, TN 37996-0900).
Gupta, S. (2023). April 28). Situationship: How to cope when commitment is unclear. Verywell Mindhttps://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-situationship-5216144.
Hendrick, S. S. (1988). A generic measure of relationship satisfaction. Journal of Marriage and Family, 50(1), 93–98. https://doi.org/10.2307/352430.
Hensel, D. J., & O’Sulliban, L. F. (2022). What makes them last? Predicting time to relationship dissolution in adolescent women’s intimate relationships with male partners. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 39(2), 393–412. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075211036516.
Hollis, B., Sheehan, B. E., Kelley, M. L., & Stevens, L. (2022). Hookups among US College students: Examining the association between hookup motives and personal affect. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 51, 1793–1798. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-021-02157-8.
Jamison, T. B., & Sanner, C. M. (2021). Relationship form and function: Exploring meaning-making in young adults’ romantic histories. Personal Relationships, 28(4), 840–859. https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12400.
Koessler, R. B., Kohut, T., & Campbell, L. (2019). When your boo becomes a ghost: The association between breakup strategy and breakup role in experiences of relationship dissolution. Collabra: Psychology, 5(29), 1–18. https://doi.org/10.1525/collabra.230.
Kuburic, S. (2021). December 8). What is a situationship? And how to avoid being in one. USA Todayhttps://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2021/12/08/situationship-defined-relationships/6416446001/?gnt-cfr=1.
Kuperberg, A., & Padgett, J. E. (2016). The role of culture in explaining college students’ selection into hookups, dates, and long-term romantic relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 33(8), 1070–1096. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407515616876.
Langlais, M. R., Kivisto, K. L., & Welsh, D. P. (2010). Communication and sexual behaviors within adolescent couples. Psi Chi Journal of Undergraduate Research, 15, 194–202.
LeFebvre, L. E., Allen, M., Rasner, R. D., Garstad, S., Wilms, A., & Parrish, C. (2019). Ghosting in emerging adults’ romantic relationships: The digital dissolution disappearance strategy. Imagination Cognition and Personality, 39(2), 125–150. https://doi.org/10.1177/0276236618820519.
Little, K. C., Welsh, D. P., Darling, N., & Holmes, R. M. (2011). Brief report: I can’t talk about it: Sexuality and self-silencing as interactive predictors of depressive symptoms in adolescent dating couples. Journal of Adolescence (London England), 34(4), 789–794. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.adolescence.2010.04.006.
Markey, C. N., Markey, P. M., & Gray, H. F. (2007). Romantic relationships and health: An examination of individuals’ perceptions of their romantic partners’ influences on their health. Sex Roles: A Journal of Research, 57(5–6), 435–445. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-007-9266-5.
Miller, R. S. (2018). Intimate relationships (7th ed.). McGraw Hill.
Miller, G. R., & Parks, M. R. (1982). Communication in dissolving relationships. In S. Duck (Ed.), Personal relationships 4: Dissolving Personal relationships (pp. 127–154). Academic.
Miller, A. M., Blumberg, P. O., & Mejia, N. (2023, November 15). 11 signs you’re in a ‘situationship’ and how to handle it like a pro, per relationship experts. Women’s Health. https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a27478820/situationship/.
Minerva, F. (2015). Unrequited love hurts: The medicalization of broken hearts is therapy, not enhancement. Cambridge Quarterly of Healthcare Ethics, 24(4), 479–485. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0963180115000134.
Monk, K., Ogolsky, B. G., & Maniotes, C. (2022). On–off relationship instability and distress over time in same- and different‐sex relationships. Family Relations, 71(2), 630–643. https://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12614.
Ogolsky, B. G., Monk, J. K., Rice, T. M., Theisen, J. C., & Maniotes, C. R. (2017). Relationship maintenance: A review of research on romantic relationships. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 9(3), 275–306. https://doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12205.
Owen, J. J., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., & Fincham, F. D. (2010). Hooking up among college students: Demographic and psychosocial correlates. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 39(3), 653–663. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-008-9414-1.
Owen, J., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., & Markman, H. J. (2011). The revised commitment inventory: Psychometrics and use with unmarried couples. Journal of Family Issues, 32(6), 820–841. https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X10385788.
Owen, J., Fincham, F. D., & Manthos, M. (2013). Friendship after a friends with benefits relationship: Deception, psychological functioning, and social connectedness. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 42(8), 1443–1449. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-013-0160-7.
Rosen, L. D., Cheever, N. A., Cummings, C., & Felt, J. (2008). The impact of emotionality and self-disclosure on online dating versus traditional dating. Computers in Human Behavior, 24(5), 2124–2157. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2007.10.003.
Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.68.
Stanley, S. M., & Markman, H. J. (1992). Assessing commitment in personal relationships. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 54(3), 595–608. https://doi.org/10.2307/353245.
Sternberg, R. J. (1986). A triangular theory of love. Psychological Review, 93(2), 119–135. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.93.2.119.
Sternberg, R. J. (1987). Liking Versus loving: A comparative evaluation of theories. Psychological Bulletin, 102(3), 331–345. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.102.3.331.
Toye, F., Izett-Kay, M., Barker, K. L., & McNiven, A. (2023). The experience of women reporting damage from vaginal mesh: A reflexive thematic analysis. EClinicalMedicine, 58, 1–9. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.eclinm.2023.101918.
Van Epp, J. (2023, November 20). Situationships: Stuck in transition, part 1. Institute for Family Studies. https://ifstudies.org/blog/situationships-stuck-in-transition-part-1.
van Raalte, L. J., Bednarchik, L. A., Generous, M. A., & Mongeau, P. A. (2021). Examining rules in friends with benefits relationships. Archives of Sexual Behavior. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-021-02114-5.
Vaughn, M. J., & Matyastik Baier, M. E. (1999). Reliability and validity of the relationship assessment scale. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 27(2), 137–147. https://doi.org/10.1080/019261899262023.
Warner, N. Z., Gleeson, C., Fahey, P., Horgan, R., & Groarke, A. (2022). Experiences of living with Lynch Syndrome: A reflexive thematic analysis. European Journal of Oncology Nursing: The Official Journal of European Oncology Nursing Society, 58, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ejon.2022.102117.
Wilder, S., Scott, C. L., & Chavarin, M. A. (2023). Breaking up is hard to do: Investigating breakup distress and sexual regret in undergraduates’ casual and committed sexual relationships. In A. J. C. Hernández, & S. L. Blair (Eds.), Conjugal trajectories: Relationship beginnings, Change, and dissolutions, Vol. 22 (pp. 25–40). Emerald Publishing Limited.
Acknowledgements
We would like to acknowledge Lily Steed, Savannah Remel, and Shahara Ransom for all their hard work on this project.
Funding
No funding was received for conducting this study.
Author information
Authors and Affiliations
Contributions
LT and AP conducted data collection. ML and CL conducted data analyses. ML, AP, and LT wrote the first draft of this manuscript, which was later edited by CL. All authors read and approved the final manuscript.
Corresponding author
Ethics declarations
Competing interests
The authors have no competing interests to declare that are relevant to the content of this article.
Additional information
Publisher’s Note
Springer Nature remains neutral with regard to jurisdictional claims in published maps and institutional affiliations.
Rights and permissions
Springer Nature or its licensor (e.g. a society or other partner) holds exclusive rights to this article under a publishing agreement with the author(s) or other rightsholder(s); author self-archiving of the accepted manuscript version of this article is solely governed by the terms of such publishing agreement and applicable law.
About this article
Cite this article
Langlais, M., Podberesky, A., Toohey, L. et al. Defining and Describing Situationships: An Exploratory Investigation. Sexuality & Culture (2024). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12119-024-10210-6
Accepted:
Published:
DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s12119-024-10210-6