Abstract
Establishing communicative and behavioral boundaries in romantic relationships provides partners with a greater sense of relational stability and certainty. For romantic relationships, these boundaries, such as sexual exclusivity, are relatively straightforward. For casual sex relationships, however, the relational rules are less stable and certain. This exploratory study examined rules in friends with benefits relationships (FWBRs) for 109 college students in the USA. Responses to open-ended questions were collected through an online questionnaire, and data were qualitatively analyzed through an inductive thematic analysis. The data were structured into communication rules, sexual rules, and relational definition rules. Results provide overlap and extension of previous work investigating rules in FWBRs. Notably, participants reported sexual exclusivity as an important rule. Additionally, potentially competing discourses in FWBR rules were best understood through the lens of relational dialectics. Findings reflect a tension in terms of relational work, as partners struggle with maintaining their sexual and friendship relationship while not falling into the “territory” of romantic relationships.
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Notes
Participants in the current study self-identified as male or female; we cannot be certain whether this designation referred to their biological sex assigned at birth, current sex, or whether they answered according to their gender identity.
The data may reflect only one side of a relational dialectic tension per subject (i.e., participants who created a rule reflecting openness, or participants who created a rule reflecting closedness). Participant rules are collectively mirrored through tensions in relational dialectics theory but may or may not necessarily reflect communicative tensions between FWB partners.
Although casual sex relationships are reported more frequently on college campuses, seeking exclusive romantic relationships and engaging in sex within romantic relationships are still more common than casual sex relationships (Fielder et al., 2013).
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van Raalte, L.J., Bednarchik, L.A., Generous, M.A. et al. Examining Rules in Friends with Benefits Relationships. Arch Sex Behav 51, 1783–1792 (2022). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-021-02114-5
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DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-021-02114-5